Pet Loss Library

The love of my life

Yesterday morning, just 24 hours ago, I had to put my beloved puppy, Freddy to sleep. I can not begin to describe the pain I am feeling. I have lost every single family member except for my sister and none of those losses can compare with how I am feeling now.

Freddy was diagnosed with stomach cancer in November 2004. She was operated on and had half of her stomach removed. She came through the surgery fabulously. We then put her through 4 chemo treatments though they were experimental. She was a trouper through it all! A month after the last treatment, she had an ultrasound and things looked great. They told us to bring her back in 6 weeks for another ultrasound.

She was doing quite well for a month but then she vomited. We were alarmed that the cancer had returned but also thought it might have just been a coincidence. Two days later she threw up again.

We called Ohio State University where all the work had been done. They suggested bringing her in for another ultrasound. This time they saw a thickening in the area where the tumor had been. No other treatment was advised. We thought perhaps we would have her for months or more.

Within a week, she was throwing up more. Yesterday morning she followed me everywhere and was making her noise that she made when she wanted something. she became more persistent. I thought I would take her to the park but she kept making the noise in the car. She had never done this before. I brought her back home and realized she was in pain. She couldn't get comfortable.

I called the vet and she came right over. We put Freddy to sleep and my heart is shattered. I never thought I could feel so empty. She and I had a soul connection. We were inseparable. I want her back. My heart has a hole as big as the universe and my house no longer feels like a home. The loss of her energy is everywhere.

I am 52 years old and just lost my most beloved companion of 10 1/2 years.